From I'll Push You: “Childhood experiences won’t be taken away, but the power those experiences have over [you] is being transferred into [your] hands.”
Sorry to know you're in the sucky-dad club. From what little I know of you, your own children will not be able to say the same. You're taking your pain, your lessons and acquired wisdom to break the cycle and give them the dad you wished you'd had. Good for you.
Thanks, Sue. I think that quote about the experiences and their power being something you get a say in is pretty spot on. It came to me in a new way recently:
My dad told me stories about his grandfather hitting his father with yard tools, and I know from my grandmother's demeanor that there was venom in her upbringing. I've come to a place of seeing the lineage of mistreatment and how it's been passed down for generations. Having seen it all, the biggest tragedy that come come of my life would be me leaving the mess for another generation to clean up.
As for the sucky-dad club, I've been thinking on that one. On one hand, it's true. It took me a long time to arrive at the ability to say that my dad was unfit to care for me, but it's true. That's not a judgment, just an acknowledgment.
On the other hand, we live on all kinds of planes, and there are those where I'm so grateful that he was my father. Just this morning, I was out flyering for my writing classes, and each time I walked into a store and prepared to speak to a person I didn't know, I could feel him and his energy with me. He's the one who taught me to embrace strangers boldly and fearlessly, among other things. It's never black and white.
My prayer is that the work I'm doing is healing for me, for my dad, and for all those who came before us.
The ancestral pain that "doesn't distinguish between giver and recipient."
I'm so glad to see you addressing anger, rage, shame and grief - while also taking a hard look at the hard work of compassion, forgiveness and healing.
Hi Lesley! I'm glad you made your way here, and I appreciate the kind words. I'm especially glad to be connected with another writer here in Richmond, and I look forward to reading alongside you again! I'll keep the writing coming. Don't be a stranger :)
From I'll Push You: “Childhood experiences won’t be taken away, but the power those experiences have over [you] is being transferred into [your] hands.”
Sorry to know you're in the sucky-dad club. From what little I know of you, your own children will not be able to say the same. You're taking your pain, your lessons and acquired wisdom to break the cycle and give them the dad you wished you'd had. Good for you.
Thanks, Sue. I think that quote about the experiences and their power being something you get a say in is pretty spot on. It came to me in a new way recently:
My dad told me stories about his grandfather hitting his father with yard tools, and I know from my grandmother's demeanor that there was venom in her upbringing. I've come to a place of seeing the lineage of mistreatment and how it's been passed down for generations. Having seen it all, the biggest tragedy that come come of my life would be me leaving the mess for another generation to clean up.
As for the sucky-dad club, I've been thinking on that one. On one hand, it's true. It took me a long time to arrive at the ability to say that my dad was unfit to care for me, but it's true. That's not a judgment, just an acknowledgment.
On the other hand, we live on all kinds of planes, and there are those where I'm so grateful that he was my father. Just this morning, I was out flyering for my writing classes, and each time I walked into a store and prepared to speak to a person I didn't know, I could feel him and his energy with me. He's the one who taught me to embrace strangers boldly and fearlessly, among other things. It's never black and white.
My prayer is that the work I'm doing is healing for me, for my dad, and for all those who came before us.
The ancestral pain that "doesn't distinguish between giver and recipient."
I'm so glad to see you addressing anger, rage, shame and grief - while also taking a hard look at the hard work of compassion, forgiveness and healing.
Looking forward to reading more.
Thanks, Michael. I'll keep saying it: I'm grateful you're here for it. It's been a blessing to walk the path together.
Jonathan,
I had the pleasure of meeting you at Crossroads o Friday. This is a wonderful piece with cadence and tone that sweep you threw its words.
More, please.
Hi Lesley! I'm glad you made your way here, and I appreciate the kind words. I'm especially glad to be connected with another writer here in Richmond, and I look forward to reading alongside you again! I'll keep the writing coming. Don't be a stranger :)